Trigger Warning - Suicide, Mental Health
The Story
During frequent road trips for work, my colleague Inez and I talked a lot about different things. The car was usually filled with laughter on those two-hour road trips, as I shared the latest, sometimes highly inappropriate, story or conversation I recently had with my daughter Sariah. Like the time she got stopped at customs leaving Bali and was forced to open her case to reveal 12 vibrators. Or the latest edition in her love life and why Mr Right from last week was suddenly Mr Wrong, and the breakup email she sent him.
By the time Inez and I got back to the office, we both felt we had written yet another chapter of what we just knew was going to be a best selling novel.
Sariah was highly intelligent, extremely opinionated, incredibly funny and unapologetically lived her life her way. She lived a colourful life, tinged with periods of darkness as she battled with her mental health.
On January 30, 2023 there would be no more chapters. At the age of 29, Sariah ended her life.
It was after Sariah passed that I realised our relationship was very unique. She knew she could tell me anything, and that I would still love her. Unfortunately for many young people this is not the case.
I have met so many amazing people from different walks of life who have told me about their love for Sariah and the impact she had on their life. One person said they had finally embraced their curly hair, following a tutorial from Sariah. A friend who learned of Sarah’s daily affirmation in the mirror telling herself she was fabulous, and now does this daily ritual. Sariah’s Uncle who told me his eyes were opened after meeting Sariah’s friends and learning their stories - vowing never to judge a book by its cover again. The friend who met Sariah's Uncle and to this day, still talks about their encounter. These people have also shared with me some of the significant chapters of their lives that shaped them into the person they are today; some of them with the love and support of their family and friends, some of them without.
The two years since Sariah passed away have been the worst of my life, and I am so grateful to have the support of my sister Cass and my cousin Mel. Being separated by time zones, Mel quite often got the early morning teary phone calls as I knew she would be awake. She would listen to me cry, vent, get angry, and most importantly just listen. Recently Mel let me know that one of her friends lost her partner suddenly. She said that our conversations helped her support her friend as she knew the feelings and frustrations her friend was expressing, were words that had come out of my mouth the year before. She could also see how far I had come along in my own personal journey, she was able to offer her friend hope.
Who would have thought sharing this awful chapter of my life would help people thousands of kilometres away?
Recently, I turned the page to start the next chapter of my journey through grief. This led me to leaving my job and spending three months in my happy place, Bali. It is here where I gave myself the time to grieve, heal and think about what was next. To find my passion and purpose. It was during this time that Chapter 29 was born.
Jenny
Sariah's mum
